Culture //

KORMA POLICE: #froyolo

Offence: Employing King Street as a major trafficking route for frozen yoghurt and the intent to control King Street to streamline this distribution.     Incident Report: Students have been unable to travel up King Street without the threat of attack from an advertisement promising “FREE TOPPINGS!” First Zwirl, then Mooberry, and two blocks later,…

Dessert

Offence: Employing King Street as a major trafficking route for frozen yoghurt and the intent to control King Street to streamline this distribution.

 

Dessert

 

Incident Report: Students have been unable to travel up King Street without the threat of attack from an advertisement promising “FREE TOPPINGS!”

First Zwirl, then Mooberry, and two blocks later, Wowcow. With the recent opening of Yogurberry next to Dendy, it is clear the Big Four are taking steps to monopolise the strip with their yummy desserts and multitude of toppings. It is inevitable that frozen yoghurt will become to King Street what seedy clubs are to the Cross. Think of the first years!

The choice of cute, kitsch franchise names and bright, colourful signage is unmistakably a ploy to lure impressionable undergrads.

In their first year of business alone Wowcow recorded revenue in excess of $700,000. This profit, however, has not been without victims. Jack Stephens, a first-year Science student told Honi he has been forced to turn to government welfare to support his Yogurberry habit, “I kept piling on the Oreos and Gummi Bears and … it turned out to be $8-9 a hit. I’m struggling to pay my rent now.”

Their cut-throat business tactics also extend to the treatment of their employees. A Mooberry casual described being significantly traumatised by their in-store policies, “They force me to encourage customers to ‘check-in’ on Facebook for complimentary toppings.”

Honi is currently monitoring the potential for a turf war with Thai La-Ong and Thai La-Ong 2.

Vice Chancellor Michael Spence.

Michael Spence

Michael Spence: the fair controller?

The Vice Chancellor has been in the role for almost a decade; his drive to reshape the University seems to have only grown.