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News in Revue: Faceless Bill’s Face

A review of this week’s news, in the form of a revue

A review of this week's news, in the form of a revue












‘Twas Faceless Bill, from Maribyrnong, that caught the caucus craze;

He turned his cheek and found himself the vote in thirty days;

He dressed himself in suit and tie as Albo bowed in grace;

And hurriedly, did Faceless Bill, go buy a brand new face!

He stretched it on and gave a smile, he was not used to teeth;

The nose was slightly crooked but it hid the woe beneath;

It did the job. He paid five bob. His chest puffed proud and true;

Until the shop assistant said, ‘Excuse me, who are you?’

“I’m leader now,” said Faceless Bill, “not Albo or Penny.

From Conroy’s Crap to Gillard’s Map: I ran the ALP.

I’m good all round at everything, as everybody knows,

Although I have no common vote – I AM the man that blows.”


The shop assistant shrugged her frame and went about her wares;

And as Bill strutted out the door he bore more quizzing stares;

For no one knew, just, who the hell poor Bill was with a face;

Though, least he’s better than the monk who lost the boating race.

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