Shares in Apple are in freefall as an expected product announcement from CEO Tim Cook instead became a glimpse into Apple’s current existential crisis.
Just moments before announcing the iPhone 6, as well as the slightly more expensive but ultimately very similar cousin the 6S, Cook was seen to be shaking before falling to his knees.
Before security could escort him off stage, Cook sobbed and loudly bemoaned the state of the company since founder Steve Jobs died in 2011. Mutterings such as “we just release the same thing over and over” and “we can’t think of anything new to make” were clearly heard by a shocked audience.His last utterance was an unseemly scream, which sounded like “I COULD NEVER BE LIKE STEVE”.
The worrying series of events haven’t deterred Apple fans however, as lines have already formed at Apple stores across America. The iPhone 6 is due in stores in May.
Not to be outdone, it is widely expected that current rival Samsung will have a similar crisis of faith shortly before releasing their own Galaxy S6 next year.