Comedy //

How To Cover Christopher Pyne In Bees

Alex McKinnon just wants to help.

pyne-bees

pyne-bees

This is a short guide for anyone who, for reasons of their own, may wish to cover Federal Education Minister and Member for Sturt Christopher Pyne, in bees.

It should first be noted that a significant amount of preparation will be vital to any endeavour to cover Christopher Pyne in bees. One must also remember that time of year, weather conditions and ambient air temperature are important factors; as is the location, condition and ground speed of Christopher Pyne. Covering Christopher Pyne in bees may be unsuccessful at the first few attempts. Do not be discouraged! Covering Christopher Pyne in bees is its own reward for hard work and diligence.

To cover Christopher Pyne in bees, one must first obtain several queen bees. Queen bees are the foundation for a successful hive as other bees are naturally attracted to them. Queen bees can be purchased easily from commercial suppliers over the internet – a small number of queen bees will cost between $15 and $25. You should buy your queen bees between October and early autumn, when bees are most healthy and active – a salient point to remember when seeking to cover Christopher Pyne in bees. Your queen bees will arrive in the mail in small, specially-built cages, a little larger than a matchbox.

Now that you have your queen bees, you must locate Christopher Pyne. As Christopher Pyne is a federal politician, he spends much of his time in Canberra, as well as in his electorate of Sturt, located in eastern Adelaide. A quick call to either his Parliamentary or electorate offices may be of use in establishing Christopher Pyne’s exact location. (NOTE: Anyone taking this course of action should not reveal that their purpose is to cover Christopher Pyne in bees. Claiming you are a journalist seeking the location of a press conference or other event is an easy alternative.)

Once you have ascertained Christopher Pyne’s whereabouts, you will need to place one of your queen bee cages directly on Christopher Pyne; perhaps slipped into a coat pocket, or attached with adhesive tape. One should try to attach a cage to Christopher Pyne when he is outside, especially if he is in a rural area, an open meadow, or a honey farm. Assuming the queen bee cage stays attached, Christopher Pyne will soon be covered in a large number of bees attempting to mate with the queen bee and start a colony.

Congratulations! If you have followed these instructions closely, you have successfully covered Christopher Pyne in bees!

Vice Chancellor Michael Spence.

Michael Spence

Michael Spence: the fair controller?

The Vice Chancellor has been in the role for almost a decade; his drive to reshape the University seems to have only grown.