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Sarah Palin Wins 2019 Nobel Prize For Being Political Genius Of Her Generation

Sarah Mourney can see Papua New Guinea from her house.

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Sarah Palin, President of the United States, is being heralded as the most misunderstood political genius of her generation. Back in 2008 Palin predicted the invasion of Ukraine by Russia, which went on to occur in 2014 as Palin watched the event first-hand from her house in Alaska. Since then she has been right at every turn.

Palin became President in 2015 when she toppled Obama in a bloodless coup after Obamacare led to the abortion of 30% of America’s population. At the Nobel Prize Awards ceremony, Palin was commended for her “innovative policy of stopping mass shootings by providing vouchers for guns for all school children”.

Palin also pre-emptively stopped the United States from going to war with Canada by delivering the ultimatum “join the States, or be nuked”. Tony Abbott reportedly asked if Australia could also join the US, but was politely turned down because Palin thought he “seemed a bit desperate”.

The award presenters also commended Palin for predicting the Iran War.

“In 2008, Palin was mocked for saying the US was at war with Iran, but now it is well understood that Palin’s prescience was correct as the US did go to war with Iran just six years later!” The war allegedly began when Palin bombed Tehran during a game of chicken with Senator Rush Limbaugh.

When asked however, Palin said her proudest achievement was coining the word “refudiate”, saying the word’s induction into the Oxford dictionary last year definitively proved that she was the Shakespeare of our generation as well.