Comedy //

Student: O-Week Is Perfect Time To Reinvent Self As Less Privileged

Michael Richardson is poor, promise.


Sam Beresford (18) explained to Honi his plan to appear less wealthy and more “like I have something to complain about.” Beresford, a lifelong Mosman resident, was seen loitering near the Movers and Shakers Society, complaining about the Abbott government. He moved on when he realised it was a cocktail tasting club.

“It’s a three parter, right,” said the first year, a technical graduate of St. Aloysius’ College. “First, I pretend I come from a lower-class background like the Inner West or something. Then I join a bunch of clubs like the Politics Society, the Quidditch Society, or Women in Engineering. Then I buy an apartment in Glebe and pretend I rent it.”

Beresford has already begun the process. He arrived at O-Week in a “beat-up Camry” and “skimmed a few cars on the way in to give it the trashed look.” He wore jeans ripped and repaired by his mother Anna (39) and sister Jean (15). Beresford also paid several actors to wait along Eastern Avenue, dressed in “a homely fashion” to greet him as “brothers of the street, like real poor people would.”

Honi asked Dr. Terry Corenthal, Professor of Sociology at a nearby university, to assess Beresford’s technique. “This is a delicate but common issue for many wealthy students,” said Corenthal. “It’s important to obfuscate the truth early on, or risk being hounded by parasites at the bottom of the pyramid for the rest of their academic career.”

“Poor, brave Sam,” he said, a single tear welling up in the corner of his eye. He added, “Go Sam! Go!”

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