THE FAILY TELEGRAPH
Honi Soit was hit last week by a double-whammy from esteemed rag, The Daily Telegraph. Unfortunately we weren’t treated to a photoset alongside dictators and war criminals à la former Propaganda Commissar Stephen Conroy. Rather, the Smellegraph’s opinion editor Tim Blair named (and attempted to shame) us for a survey we ran, which offered non-binary gender options.
What began as a blog post morphed quickly into a “news” [sic] article and an editorial, titled “Gender confusion or silliness” [sic].
Among other rigorous queries, Blair asked us whether “the list [was] an entirely serious idea”.
We answered Blair’s questions and wished him luck on the “slow news day” the Hellegraph was experiencing. Blair described our jibe as “terse” – unfortunate, as we were entirely earnest and genuine in our well wishes.
Even more unfortunately, Blair omitted the hot lead we gave them: “We’ve heard the royals are in town and would imagine you’d be quite a fan.”
Judging by the coverage afforded to Will and Kate the following day, we can only assume he followed up on it. Thank your sources next time, fuckwit.
USU BORED ELECTIONS
In the coming weeks, a coalition of self-interested sociopaths and naïve first-years will exchange part of their souls for a new set of pyjama tops. That’s right, readers: USU elections are right round the corner. Both veterans and newcomers are encouraged to stay at home.
It is a long-running tradition of campaigns, among non-core promises and heckling students on their walk to Redfern, that candidates shoehorn their names into awful puns and slogans in the inexplicable hope that their amateur word-smithing will result in a term on Board. The Manning Files team can reveal the slogans produced by this year’s crop of dead-eyed fish-people, in the order they will appear on the ballot:
Liam Carrigan is running on the earnest ‘Carrigan for Change’. We hear Callum Forbes will run on ‘Cheers Callum’, a cheeky nod to the ‘Cheers!’ branding of the USU Wine Society, of which Forbes is President. However, this cross-branding exercise could prove a little too close for comfort, spelling potential trouble for Forbes. The Manning Files team got wind of an email, apparently sent out to candidates last week, which reminded them it was against regulations to use Clubs and Societies resources to support their campaign. Although sent to all candidates, the email is thought to be a reference to Forbes’ ‘Cheers Callum’ plans.
Liv Ronan is running on ‘You Only Liv Once’, Alisha Aitken-Radburn on ‘Unleash Alisha’, and Ed McMahon on the sweet and simple ‘Vote Ed Instead’. Kate Bullen has opted for the adventurous ‘Electra-Kate Your Union’, Jethro Cohen is playing it safe with ‘Let’s Go Jethro’, and Cameron Caccamo is running on the somewhat combative ‘Cacc-Attack’. Finally, Arghya Gupta is running on the questionably marketable ‘Get The Union Up A(r)-Ghya’.