Comedy //

USU Pre-emptively Dismiss ‘Transparent’ Board Candidates

Dominic Ellis is sick of this shit.

Photography: Judy Zhu. Photography: Judy Zhu.

Taking its first steps towards eradicating insolence, the University of Sydney Union (USU) board has expelled four of the nine prospective board directors up for election next month.

The four candidates made election promises to do with increasing transparency and accountability in the Union and have since come under fire from the current Board executive, who say they are unanimously
“sick of this shit”.

“We have a duty to our staff first and foremost and if that means undermining democracy and so-called ‘students’, then so be it,” said USU President Hannah Morris.

“It’s nothing personal, we’re cutting red tape and we’re increasing efficiency. They’ll thank us when they’re paying five cents less for their dirty vegan food.”

The case will be presented in the Supreme Court next week and if successful will leave just five aspirants to fill the vacancies on board, all of whom are joke candidates. With Kade Denton entering the second year of his tenure, that will make a total of six joke candidates successfully on Board.

Filed under:
Vice Chancellor Michael Spence.

Michael Spence

Michael Spence: the fair controller?

The Vice Chancellor has been in the role for almost a decade; his drive to reshape the University seems to have only grown.