Culture //

Shame

‘Shame’ by Lily Cheng.

Artwork by Clare Angel-Auld. Artwork by Clare Angel-Auld.

Fear, here, you say pointing at your fragile shell,

You still struggle to mend those scars and cuts

How does one begin to describe a living hell?

You feel like a klutz,

The words are lost on your lips

It is the memory of his tight grip

That throws you back,

Back to the pain that is never ending

It happened so let’s stop pretending…

Passive as always –

Isn’t that what you always feared?

Years of repressed tormented shame –

Please, I beg, know that you are not to blame.

It was not your fault,

Stop locking the truth away in a time vault,

Don’t bury yourself in the shame

Don’t think of ever taking the blame…

Don’t move, are you scared?

Only moments from unconsciousness now,

His breathing is short and shallow,

He stares into your delicate soul.

He sees in you, a fractured fine china doll,

Broken, bruised, battered.

“Cry only in the silence, he can’t know!” you say

I forget that you are suffering in the light of day…

Don’t look at me with those hungry eyes

Don’t force me, I say with my muffled cries

Oww! My slender wrists!

He growls, “Don’t resist, there’s nothing to miss,”

Seconds from unconsciousness now

The blood in my mouth, bitter and sour…

This body was mine, or so I had believed

How naïve.

You said it would be fine,

You assumed your share,

You said it was only fair

You didn’t ask first,

My silence, my curse.

I am paralysed by the sound

Of how you conquered me.

I am shattered into a sea of debris

I am gone,

Forgotten.

Just a name to your list,

Beyond that, I do not exist.

My innocence –

Some things once lost,

Can never be found.

I am gone,

Forgotten.

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