Comedy //

Socialist Alternative Mobs Liberal Member’s Cat

Elliott Brennan is Liberal-sympathising scum.

cat

Angry protestors stormed the suburbs of the far North Queensland electoral district of Cook early Monday morning in search of Scott Morrison’s family cat, Chairman Meow.

The protestors were motivated by a Fairfax report that Chairman Meow’s diet of caviar and lobster is paid for in full by cuts to education. “Meow is just another cooperate leech on our system, I heard his kitty-litter is filled with the shredded bloodied papers of legitimate asylum seekers,” said Anne Grei, 22.

When the mob finally found Meow it became evident they lacked the agility needed to keep up with the feline, only managing to shout the words, “no cats, no fleas…” before the target darted over the nearest fence.

News Limited broke the story within minutes of its occurrence leading some to believe that their headline reading: ‘Filthy Fucking Communist ‘Grubs’ Strike Again,’ was pre-prepared.

Honey Soy approached Scott Morrison for a comment, but his office replied that he would address relevant issues in two months when they are no longer relevant.

Vice Chancellor Michael Spence.

Michael Spence

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The Vice Chancellor has been in the role for almost a decade; his drive to reshape the University seems to have only grown.