“2017
Comedy //

Union Board Campaign Manager “Just In It For The Experience”

Peter Walsh and Dominic Ellis definitely didn’t write this about anyone in particular.

Photography: Judy Zhu. Photography: Judy Zhu.

Former Ravenswood School Captain, Vice President of Young Labor, Best Speaker (AUSTRALS 2013) and “really competent driven young person”* Francesca Rabelais (Arts/Law IV), is managing a Union Board campaign “just for fun, really”.

Rabelais, whose idea of fun includes attending general meetings and doing favours, says she has no ambitions of her own. “Nope, I have no desire to run for Honi or SRC or even Union Board,” she said while being physically groomed by her candidate. “I am happy enough watching others get up.” When asked if she had any opinions regarding the current operation of the board, she responded with a 14 line policy statement in dot points before continuing, “Sounds pretty good, hey.”

There are, however, some suspicions surrounding her decision to manage such a controversial board candidate. While most people think of him as a slimy, deceitful sociopath, Rabelais praised his “sunny disposition” and “connections for future campa— I mean, sense of humour”.

The people who told me to fuck off on Eastern Avenue while campaigning in the Honi elections last semester, collectively, had this to say: YOU’RE ALL—YOU INCLUDED PETER WALSH—NOTHING MORE THAN SELF AGGRANDISING SCUMBAGS.

*Curriculum Vitae, 2014.

Vice Chancellor Michael Spence.

Michael Spence

Michael Spence: the fair controller?

The Vice Chancellor has been in the role for almost a decade; his drive to reshape the University seems to have only grown.