Comedy //

What Type of Feminist Are You?

Take our quick quiz to see what type of feminist you are!

Q: Summer hits. Two months and nothing on your calendar but lots of savings to spend. What do you do?

a. Check out what World Vision, Save The Children, Poor People in Africa and White Savior Complex have on offer – become an ambassador and change your life for only $2700.

b. Stay in bed watching back-to-back seasons of the L word, who knew solidarity took so little?

c. Commit yourself to producing a movie about feminist struggle. Make a few working groups on facebook for brainstorming, post on some autonomous collective wom*ns walls for interested parties.

Q: You open your old hotmail. Ticketek has spammed you with all their latest shows. But wait – one of them is Miley! She’s doing a world tour – what do you do?

a. Buy the best tickets you can get. $400 is a small price for an unforgettable night. Head down to Bunnings, buy the materials for your own wrecking ball and start practicing your dance moves!

b. Mobilise your closest and most militant radfems. Organise a snap action protest: Picket the ticketek office and the concert; release burning bras from the top levels of Acer Arena as a reminder of the sacrifices our suffragette sisters made for us.

c. You can’t afford it! You already bought your boyfriend and his best mate birthday tickets to Stereosonic. No worries – invite your fave ladies over for a #nostalgia fest watching Hannah Montana.

Q: It’s 9am on a Monday, you decide to pump yourself up for the day by wearing the super cute Native American headdress you once made for a Pocahontas Halloween costume. A woman of colour “calls you out”. What do you do?

a. Tell her to stop being so PC. She is probably just jealous you rock her colours better than she does! Also that she could never make a quirky feathered ensemble as good as yours.

b. Apologise sincerely. Commit to personal reflection, self-education and change, spending the rest of the day in Fisher watching youtube videos on calling out and cultural appropriation.

c. Remove the headdress and save it for a party. There’s a time and a place for showing off cultural appreciation and it’s not in your ECOP1002 tutorial.

Q: You go home for the weekend and your little sister wants advice. She’s 14 and her boyfriend is pressuring her to have sex, what do you do?

a. Recognise you’re not qualified to give the answer. Refer her to Girlfriend, Dolly Doctor and Cosmo

b. Send him an FB message with section 61HA of the Crimes Act – the legal definition of consent

c. Write a song about why consent is important and her sexuality is her own. Perform it to her with your mum and hope that through the power of expression you have subliminally but non-threateningly empowered her to make the right choice.

Q: Your absolute bestie of years sits you down for a serious chat. Turns out she’s a lesbian. What do you do?

a. Isn’t this quiz about feminism? Why are you talking about gay people?

b. Tell her you will be her number one ally! Play Macklemore “Same Love” and twerk together in solidarity. Offer to go to gay clubs with her.

c. Have an existential crisis. She’s seen you naked. Maybe she has a crush on you? Decide it’s better if she doesn’t sleep over any more (in case she hits on you).

Mostly As, Bs, or Cs:

Riot grrrls, liberal bitches, sassy sluts and hairy rads (seriously have a shower) – what is the point of division? We are sisters and in feminism we stand. If you love your mum and hate being cat-called, you are one of us. If you wake up everyday feeling confined and misunderstood in your oh-so delectable body, you are one of us. Your menstrual blood is the calls of mothers and daughters past, uniting us in common destiny. WE ARE UNITED. And our empowerment will be the righting of the universe. 

#yougogirl #womenhelpingwomenhelpthemselves #germaine WE ARE UNITED. #yougogirl