A campaign has been launched this week by architecture student and year-round Movember participant Bill ‘Mambo Dreamcatcher’ Smith calling for Sydney University to save the Architecture building.
This follows plans unveiled by the university last semester to replace the existing structure with a building that, in the words of the Vice-Chancellor, “doesn’t suck”. Mr Smith said that while he could understand the university’s reasoning, he would be devastated to see the old building go, given he had only chosen to study at Sydney for its ironic Architecture Building and the boost it would give to his indie cred.
“Without the building, what do we have left? Just another flashy neo-classical castle full of liquorice-framed Seidlerphiles trying desperately to deceive generations of overly idealistic students that they won’t be designing council toilets for a living,” said Bill, adjusting his corduroy earmuffs so they better fit under his Native American headdress, before pulling out his phone and purchasing a pair of liquorice sunglasses on ebay.
Bill has even considered finishing his degree at another university if the plans to upgrade the building go ahead. “I’m looking at a lot of options,” says Bill, “and at the moment UTS is definitely a standout when it comes to fugly buildings.”
The university has insisted that despite the Architecture building’s unique character, the facilities it offers are in desperate need of upgrading, with lifts that go up as well as down, and more elusive corridor offices for staff to hide from students in. But Bill is adamant the building’s many health and safety violations are all just part of its old-timey charm.
“Sure, studying in a giant concrete monolith can get a bit chilly at times,” he says, “but that just gives me an excuse to put on one of my many faux-second-hand knitted jumpers.”
A rally to save the building has been organised by Bill for this Thursday at 5pm in the building’s lobby, before council planners arrive to condemn the building later that afternoon.
The university is yet to comment on rumours that North Korea has expressed an interest in purchasing the discarded building in its dual capacity as a nuclear bunker.