Comedy //

Israel-Palestine Conflict Moves To Sydney University Poster Boards

Bennett Sheldon is going into hiding now.

Sydney University has become the newest battleground in the Israel-Palestine territorial dispute.

Previously contained to the Middle East, the conflict has expanded to Sydney campus as both sides vie for control of key strategic poster boards.

“I went into my lecture and the Eastern Bank was plastered with Palestinian flyers,” one easily influenced student commented. “When I left in an hour all trace of them had been extinguished. The Taste Strip had been bombarded with more crudely drawn Stars than the doodle page of my Year 10 Maths book.”

“The conflict has caused irreparable environmental damage,” quoted a maintenance employee. “The entire landscape has been desecrated, entire poster boards are destroyed by the constant barrage of staples. The very boards they’re fighting for…” he mulled.

“It’s not like they’re only hurting other professional posterers either. It’s the bystanders who suffer. Can you really quantify innocent casualties— like SUDS Hamlet, or that first year student who wanted a roommate?”

With both sides being supported by Officeworks there is no end in sight.