Dear Readers, old and new,
It is with equal parts heavy heart and morbid enthusiasm that I pen this introduction. I only wish I could say it was a pleasure to take the renowned position of executive editor of The Garter Press, but to do so in light of recent circumstances would be callous.
As you will all, well and truly, be aware by now, the fire that ravaged The Garter offices at the beginning of this year birthed a devastating list of casualties. These people were consummate professionals and represented some of the finest talent in the industry. The loss of the likes of Maisy Snuffington, Hercules Pickleyton, Climpton Cadbury and Davey “Punchy-Punch” Boxcar will be quietly mourned.
Executive editor of four years, Dolores Pellicer, passed away peacefully in another, unrelated, fire.
Many have noted the incredible improbability of every pro-tabloid contributor, editor and board member of The Garter being killed in the same fire, but I would urge those compelled to make the observation not to try and politicise an immense tragedy.
For this catastrophe is a poetic reminder of the incredible tenacity of the broadsheet. Were the victory for the noble, age-old form not so inextricably tied to the terrible loss of life of many brilliant newspaper contributors, I would celebrate it more extensively.
As for those who are no longer with us: may their obituaries be as their DISGUSTING tabloid aesthetic would demand – short, and crowded with disgusting images and advertisement.
Regrettably, and newly powerfully yours,
(Executive Editor, The Garter Press)