Standing in the horror movie aisle, I find myself eminently torn between The Lost Boys and Rosemary’s Baby. This is the final showdown of my rental elimination game, brought swiftly to a surprising end when I remember I have VIP membership and enough change to hire both.
Yes, I am in a video store. No, it isn’t real. I am actually on Google Street View, inside the palatial Pennant Hills Blockbuster, probing the virtual aisles of DVDs, mentally removing Jaws 2 from the shelf and burying it in the ex-rental box. I am attempting to recreate the movie renting experience, which is hardly sad for a bombastic cinephile like me.
In recent light of my enduring pain, resulting from the demise of my childhood video store back in 2011, I have found euphoria in this remarkable Google Maps discovery, and a little comfort too. Devastating is the thought of our millennial spawn walking this earth in darkness without the fond memory of a Blockbuster or Video Ezy. It’s a gross concept to fathom, and the only elegant way to look at it is to envision a future of underground prohibition-esque rental clubs with noir lighting and cheap alcohol (to drink away the woes and numb the nostalgia).
It is through the store’s street view that I relieve myself of the heartache that came when the Pennant Hills Blockbuster had its existence crushed by Anytime Fitness, which, for the last 5 years, has sat in Blockbuster’s place across the road from Fitness First. Like, what the fuck? I mean, it’s a western tragedy that ought to be transliterated.
In the time that I have found this virtual paradise, I have rented out at least 7 films, made banter with the photographs of the old employees, and stood over the ice cream fridge which has just welcomed the limited edition caramel crunch magnum (delicious). The fact that those who frequented this blockbuster can relive the years of rental bliss on a simple 3D map makes me want to ugly cry. Unfortunately though, you will all be stuck inside a movie store limbo where New Moon and Tooth Fairy never leave the new release stands.