Cool Dad Just Emotionally Stunted Regular Dad

Students of Mrs. Appleby’s fifth period English class were shocked to learn Monday that Harold Dobkin, 44, father of Michael, 16, was not the life of the party who understood what it meant to be young, but simply an emotionally retrograde version of their own parents who remains incapable of engaging with his children on any level but their own.

“I remember when I first went over for dinner in Year 8 and Michael’s dad offered me a VB with our pizza, it was the best,”said classmate Julian who had long since wished Dobkin could have replaced his own father, a stern man of 55 who insisted his son do his own laundry and continue with a part time job. “Michael’s dad just gives him money whenever he wants, and didn’t even get mad when he came home drunk that time.”

At time of publication, Michael was seen asking his father for advice about whether or not he should dob in older kids who were stealing lunches at school.

Sources close to the situation say the older Dobkin told him “snitches get stitches” and “how about you get your old man a drink?”