A shocked and weeping Yellow M&M has fronted a press conference this morning to answer questions on behalf of his friend, The Red M&M, who was discovered at the top of an inner-city meth network.
Once the apple of the nation’s eye, Red M&M was seen being bustled into the back of a corrections vehicle on Monday morning, to face district court later this month.
“I just can’t get the numbers to add up any more,” said a remorseful Red M&M, citing waning royalties, increasing rent and gambling debt as pressures which made large-scale production of illicit substances an attractive alternative.
“I don’t expect your sympathy. I know I’ve done the wrong thing. But this is the price of fame in a society that only wants to suck the coating off you and spit you under the lounge.”
“I’m going away for a long time. Aren’t I?” A pleading The Red M&M asked The Yellow M&M.
The Red M&M was implicated by documents obtained in a raid of a property owned by The Green M&M’s conducted in July.
The Green M&M was found in a drug-induced state of unconscious at the residence and has been charged with accessory offences.