Hentai Industry Blamed for Unattainable Tentacle Standards

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MARIANA TRENCH, PACIFIC OCEAN—In a press release published Friday, the Coalition for Cephalopod Positivity (CCP) condemned the Japanese Hentai Industry for propagating unattainable tentacle standards.

The paper, which shows one hundred and thirty instances of tentacles before and after digital enhancement, links photo manipulation to feelings of inadequacy among young squids. “Young invertebrates are growing up believing their tentacles have to stretch metres beyond their bodies”, said one spokesperson from CCPE. “And you can tell none of these performers have had a clutch of their own, the way their tentacles stay rigid for hours on end”.

The paper comes after an earlier release from the CCP, which suggested videos depicting humans devouring live squids was promoting unequal relationship standards between the species.

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