Comedy //

Intersectional Prison Gang “Somehow Worse” Than Skinheads

Peter Walsh can’t go back in solitary, he just can’t, man

Mug Shot

A racially diverse, trans-inclusive group of class warriors have formed an illegal inmate organisation that has been terrorising Silverwater Correctional Facility since Thursday.

The horizontally structured and leaderless organisation held a reading group of Jo Freeman’s The Tyranny of Structurelessness and made concerted efforts to avoid any informal, unaccountable leadership cliques forming.

They have now reportedly cornered H-Block’s vice trade, centralising the passage of weapons and drugs throughout the prison.

“Traditional weapons, like profiling, are powerless against a truly utopian collective such as this”, fretted Warden Laurence Peony from beneath his desk. “How can we divide and conquer when they look like everyone?”

Rival gangs, such as the Aryan Brotherhood, have been swiftly dismantled, with two senior members found dead in their cells over the weekend.

“We’re looking for someone between 160 and 200 cm, with fair to dark skin, and short to long hair”, read the Warden “Suspect could be queer, or not. Gender is not determined by appearance and so we can’t presume.”

At press time, the group had reached consensus on starting a riot, which began with a traditional smoking ceremony, asphyxiating three guards.