STATE OF NATURE, NSW A nameless, solitary human being existing outside the borders of conventional society was named New South Wales Council’s Ally of the Year last Wednesday.
In a citation delivered by Mayor, Mike Baird, the aimless wanderer, whom no other person has ever encountered, was given the prize.
The award was attributed to the Noble Savage’s not possessing the socio-linguistic incapacity to write Facebook statuses complaining about being unable to hold doors open for women even though it’s ‘polite’ and, being incapable of starting any sentence with “I know it’s not politically correct to say this but”.
The savage, having never met another human being, was therefore unable to follow up a bad comment with “it’s okay I have plenty of black friends”. There were no other finalists.