Pickles:
Where: The Chippendale Hotel (Chippendale)
M: One word: perfection. Salty, crispy, tangy, slippery, sweet perfection. Good opportunity to align Eastern European heritage with current batter-loving identity. Rating: 5
C: Despite my initial misgivings, I’m a fan. Probably not a would-stake-out-the-hotel-in-the-hopes-of-meeting-Harry Styles fan, but I would attend the concert of the deep fried pickle. Salty & crispy, an easy finger-food option. Rating: 3.5
Avocado:
Where: Home
M: Avocado is always good. The improvement is negligible. Our makeshift deep fryer may have been responsible for the batter, which was less than crispy. I can only dream of an experience where crispy, golden batter merges harmoniously with silky avo. Best served with lemon. Rating: 3
C: I was incredibly worried when I first heard about deep fried avocado – who would deep-fry an avocado? Well, whoever it was, I tip my hat to you, my friend. The batter could have been crispier, but I still enjoyed stuffing my face with it. Rating: 3.5
Ice cream:
Where: The Green Palace (Newtown)
M: Some mysteries will never be explained (the Lock Ness monster, crop circles, where the second sock goes, etc) and deep-fried ice-cream is one such mystery. Warm and crunchy on the outside, yet, frozen on the inside. A scientific anomaly! Would hit up again. Rating: 3
C: It is a myth that deep fried ice cream is good. It is NOT. The ice cream was shit and the batter tasted like my foot. If I had to choose between eating deep fried ice cream and sleeping with an improv comedian – I would sleep with the comedian. Rating: 0
Mac ’n’ cheese
Where: The Norfolk Hotel (Surry Hills)
M: With the key ingredients cheese, pasta and batter – did you really need us to tell you it’s good? A festival of carbs conveniently packaged in mouth sized balls; easy to shove in your face between sips of beer. My only gripe is the cheese could have been more flavoursome, but not everyone can devour a block of blue cheese in one sitting. Rating: 4.5
C: Deep-fried cheese and pasta – me in a ball. Perfect amount of batter, not too cheesy. Forget about following the Middle Way to reach Nirvana – just eat this delicacy and trust me, deep-fried mac ‘n’ cheese will be forevermore synonymous with “orgasm”. Rating: 5
Mars Bar:
Where: Bliss & Chips (Newtown, Vegan alternative)
M: For this delicacy I recommend taking a trip to the OG dealer at Bondi, rather than settling for Newtown’s vegan alternative. The payoff is ridiculously good, so it’s only fair that you work for it with a 40 minute bus ride. Still an enjoyable experience, but like most things, would have been improved with dairy. Rating: 4
C: I’m not sure if it was the ‘vegan’ part or ‘deep-fried’ part of ‘deep-fried vegan mars bar’ that has me dubious. I struggle to trust any establishment that advertises itself as a seafood shop – but is vegan? What? WHY? Despite my concerns about the actual ingredients, it was quite good. Gooey and sweet, a decent dessert. Just don’t ask what is in it. Rating: 3