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Report: Non-Vegans Talk About Vegan Diet More Than Vegans Do

Jayce Carrano has some beef.

Fruit and vegetable variety. Fruit and vegetable variety.

The Australian Meat Industry Council has urged meat eaters to shut up after its own report found it is more likely for non-vegans to talk about how often vegans talk about being vegan than for vegans to talk about being vegan.

The report, originally commissioned to discover new ways to ridicule vegans, used 4 years of meal discussion data and a survey of 3,000 Australians.

At any given social occasion, there was a 19 per cent chance for someone to ask the question: “How do you know someone is a vegan?”.

In cases where they did ask that question, there was a 96 per cent chance they would answer themselves with “They’ll tell you” and then a 100 per cent chance they would laugh at their own wit.

Meanwhile, vegans mentioned their dietary choices in only 8% of cases and this was usually in answer to “why the fuck do you eat so much salad?”.

A secondary finding of the report showed pescatarians were significantly more likely than others to be unable to commit to any aspect of their lives.