Comedy //

SIX Presents To Put Under The Passover Tree

Victoria Zerbst is in this just for the jokes.

Close-Up of Traditional Jewish Food

Sometimes other people have holidays, like Jews. Jews have this one holiday called Pesach (or Passover) where they celebrate the suffering of their people and lean to the left for two entire evenings.

Here are some presents you can give your Jewish friend to start a conversation that is not about Seinfeld, bagels or even the Holocaust!

1. Your Goy Tears.

Jews have to dip all their herbs in salt water to remind themselves of tears. Give them a jar of your own tears so they can be really reminded of tears.

2. Romeo and Juliet, the play!

“A plague on both your houses!” That’s a line from this Shakespeare play and totally relevant to Passover, which is about plagues.

3. Bacon Soap

Scrub clean. Scrub clean the guilt of the ten plagues, my Jewish friends. Make sure the soap is only bacon scented, because kosher.

4. Cronuts

It would be hard to pass over amazing gluten-free content. But that’s the point of Passover. It should be hard. Make sure you remind your Jew friends that they can’t eat any good carbs with a cronut.

5. Dead Baby Fetus Doll

Baby born? More like baby dead! Did you know that the final plague celebrated in Passover is the death of every first born Egyptian baby? Wow! Passover? More like passed away. #guilt

6. The Pyramids of Giza

Did you know the Jews built these pyramids? Seriously. Trust me. Don’t look it up. Maybe you should help the Jews get the Pyramids back? Idk?