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Comedy //

Star Point Guard’s Father Arrives During Fourth Quarter

Peter Walsh is a plucky young satirist writing against the odds.


CAUTIOUS OPTIMISM, INDIANA. Anxious supporters of the Bethel Selective Deacons Basketball Team—who have only just started to believe again after years of disappointment—were shocked to see star point guard Micah Trentholme’s father arrive to the championship game.

The arrival threw a spanner in the works for Micah Trentholme, who not seen his dad since he walked on the family ten years ago.

“Some say Micah tried to fill that dad-sized hole with a basketball”, said Assistant Coach Bethany Bridges. “But basketballs aren’t dad shaped.”

Micah rose to prominence last month as he overcame his ballhogging tendencies to lead the Deacons to their first berth in the playoffs this decade.

The arrival of Micah’s father followed an eventful first half. The Deacons lost significant ground early after learning that long time supporter Little Benjamin had been hit by a car en route to the game.

They closed a gap during the second after a tearful reunion between Micah and longtime flame Amelie Slander, who he had previously pushed away in a fit of hormonal boyness. By the third, Benjamin’s condition had stabilised, but it did little to prevent crosstown rivals Hartford taking the lead.

At press time, Micah’s father had taken his seat courtside, prideful tears welling in his eyes, as Micah prepared to do his customary look to the audience before shooting a pair of free throws, down two, with 1:10 remaining.