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Comedy //

#REAL: Donald Trump announces running mate, Michael Spence

Last week, sane man Donald Trump announced that his presidential running mate would be Sydney-based Michael Spence. Spence’s selection gives Trump a running mate with strong ties to a conservative base — particularly out-of-touch Oxonians. As vice-chancellor of Sydney University , Spence faced major  backlash over his decision to neglect the Rainbow Campus Campagin, a…

by The Cursor
July 27, 2016

Last week, sane man Donald Trump announced that his presidential running mate would be Sydney-based Michael Spence.

Spence’s selection gives Trump a running mate with strong ties to a conservative base — particularly out-of-touch Oxonians.

As vice-chancellor of Sydney University , Spence faced major  backlash over his decision to neglect the Rainbow Campus Campagin, a measure that infuriated many students who saw it as anti-LGBTQIA+ move.

Spence told The Cursor “Well I used to be the VC. VC sounds a lot like VP, so I think I will do a very good job as the VP.”

Screen shot 2016-07-26 at 10.02.20 AM

Trump’s decision to run with Spence has not come as a surprise to anyone really.

“I mean they are both white dudes with a talent for using buzzwords.” Melania Trump told The Cursor. “And, don’t ask me how I know this, but I can confirm, anally, that both men have incredibly small penises.”

The Cursor is currently inquiring into how this might explain the ticket’s logo, which is a ‘T’ entering a ‘P’, somewhat anally.  When approached for further comment she added, “Then watch me crank that Robocop, super fresh, now watch me jock. Jocking on them haters man when I do that soulja boy.”

Filed under:
  • melania trump
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  • usyd

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