Comedy //

Baird To Reverse Greyhound Ban On Proviso No Dogs Enter Mass Grave After 1.30am

Jayce Carrano thinks electoral popularity is overrated

greyhound-photoshop

The NSW Baird government has today scrapped a complete ban on the greyhound racing industry, instead introducing new restrictions.

The primary change is a prohibition on grave-digging near Wentworth Park after 1.30am and a requirement that all mass dog graves must be covered up and closed by 3am.

In a media statement, Mike Baird described the move as a reasonable middle ground.

“Obviously, we can’t just ban it. We had individuals digging up to eight standard graves in one night. They end up so knackered that they just pass out in our streets. It’s excessive. Anyone can have a good time with just one or two standard graves. You just have to squeeze the dogs in tighter.”

Various groups have complained the restrictions will simply move gravediggers from Wentworth Park to places near the CBD like Newtown.

“With all the grave-digging, Camperdown Park is beginning to look like Swiss cheese,” said council groundskeeper, Milo Clark. “Local dogs love it because of all the bones they’re finding.”

The greyhound racing industry has praised the decision to scrap the total ban but has described the new restrictions as draconian.

“The new rules go too far,” a spokesperson said. “We feel like greyhound racing is constantly under attack. Our main competition, horse racing, attracts more media attention, more viewers and more money. The only factor we could compete in was animal cruelty.”

Filed under: