Quentin Bryce Law Doctoral Scholarship
Comedy // NSW

Threat of NSW power cuts as internet servers struggle to keep Snapchat temperature filter running

Sydney swelters and filters.

Sydney swelters. Artist's impression of Sydney as heatwave continues.

The Bureau of Meteorology has warned authorities that a record-breaking heatwave is set to hit the east coast of Australia over the next three days, reminding Australians that the BOM website does more than provide weather graphs for year seven civil geography assignments.

The rising temperatures have prompted millions of free-thinking individuals to take photos using Snapchat’s often overlooked temperature filter.

Bellevue Hills socialite, Daisy Beaucannon, is believed to have posted four separate temperature filter photos in the same snapstory. “Of course everyone can feel how hot it is themselves, but how will they know that I can feel it too unless I show them?”

The extremely high rate of temperature filter snapchats is causing massive spikes in electricity demand at Snapchat’s Australian server room.

“We haven’t seen this level of server strain since New Year’s Eve when everyone decided that their shitty handheld footage of distant fireworks was worth posting with the Sydney filter,” says Dwight Muller, the computer engineer in charge of Snapchat’s local servers. “Before that, the worst we’d had was when Tinder let users upload photos directly from their camera roll and everyone decided the dog filter was the best way to cop a root.”

Meanwhile, international news sources are reporting that European servers are also struggling with the huge number of holidaying Australians mocking their friends back home by using the same filter in sub-zero temperatures.

The government is now warning that, if server demand doesn’t decrease, NSW will soon be hit by power shortages.

Immigration Minister Scott Morrison has promised that, should electricity shortages spread nationwide, he will burn his prized lump of coal to power the electric fences surrounding Christmas Island detention centre. “I found the little black beauty in my Christmas stocking so it’s only fitting.”

 

Student services counters have been closed all across campus. Art: Rebekah Wright.

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