The Indian philosopher Krishnamurti once said, “It is no measure of health to be well adjusted to a profoundly sick society.” With that in mind, why not get adjusted to these moderately sick societies instead?
Your faculty society: You chose your degree, now it’s time to develop an obnoxious and unhealthy patriotism for your faculty. Faculty societies have the most members and put a lot of emphasis on social events (read: spend a lot on bar tabs) where their members can form cliquey friendship circles. If you’re after a liver transplant, go beyond your own faculty and hit up the events put on by the Engineering (SUEUA) and Arts (SASS) societies.
Boarders’ and Skiers’ Club (SUBSKI): If faculty and Manning parties aren’t doing enough damage to your young body, Subski will ensure your medicare card is put to good use. It’s supposedly a society for snowsports so the club has been campaigning strongly for the Captain Morgan rum scull to be included in the 2018 Winter Olympic games.
Dramatic Society (SUDS): With fortnightly performances of classics, original works and comedy, SUDS can be enjoyed by wanky STC-subscribers and lime-light lovers as well as wet-behind-the-ears rookies and professional audience members. In the past, this society has been about as insular (and incestuous) as an Amish paradise but the consensus is that it’s recently improved and has now introduced a high-school-style mentoring system that will pair new and current members.
United Nations Society (SUUNS): Rumoured to offer fortnightly free pizza and bar tabs at all their conferences, SUUNS is the quintessential social networker’s society. If you want to put New York socialite on your resume one day, this is the place to be. Who knows, maybe the flap of a social butterfly’s wings could cause a tornado of humanitarian change. Be warned: attending the conferences can be prohibitively expensive for a student budget, but what’s the point of spending your money on groceries if you don’t have any new friends to complain to about spending all your money on groceries?
Chocsoc or Vegesoc: Take some advice from Old El Paso and have both. Vegesoc have a long tradition of slaughtering the competition with biweekly $5 all-you-can-eat lunches. After signing up for that, reward your new body-temple by opting for a Chocsoc membership. The membership comes with an O-Week goodies bag that would put the Easter Show to shame if anyone thought those showbags were worth buying anymore.