The right wing nationalist political party “One Nation” has announced today that their new candidate to run for the Australian Senate will be household cleaning product mascot Mr Muscle.
The party’s controversial leader, Pauline Hanson, announced the decision earlier today amidst rising right wing populism around the globe.
“Australia should follow the lead of Putin in Russia, Trump in the US, and Le Pen in France. We need a strong leader to combat the ineffectual bureaucrats we have in Parliament House. We need someone who is strong, someone who has comically large muscles and a flexible spandex suit.”
“This country needs someone who will eliminate our enemies at home and abroad” Hanson said.
“Now, Mr Muscle here kills 99.9% of germs. If he can do that on hard to scrub stains on tile and other bathroom surfaces, you can only imagine the success he would have with ISIS.”
Hanson went on to explain Mr Muscle’s numerous qualifications.
Well, as you can see, he’s got a pair of safety glasses on. I mean, he’s a scientist. Probably? If he can protect his eyes you know he can protect this country from radical islamic terror.
“As a nation, we’ve had enough of politicians flip flopping on the real issues that affect regular Australians. Mr Muscle may not be a slick professional politician, but his stance on grime has always been clear: he is tough on grime. I mean, I haven’t even heard Mr. Turnbull or Mr. Shorten’s position on the grime issue. When are they going to acknowledge the overwhelming danger that grime and bathroom mould presents to our country?”