'Monique Trout' complains

Local student and white’s rights activist, Monique Trout, has uncovered an insidious plot to impose apartheid on the University of Sydney campus.

Monique, standing outside the doors of the recently dubbed “Ethnocultural Space”, angrily stuffing pieces of Wonderwhite sliced bread into her foaming mouth, told Honi Soit how she discovered the space on her way to Ralph’s Cafe for a yoghurt, her third of the day.

According to Monique, recordings she obtained of students in the space demonstrate that the creation of the space is part of a wider plan to impose U.S. Civil Rights-era segregation on the entire Camperdown campus.

‘It’s true,’ said Samuel Gomez, ethnocultural student activist, ‘We really don’t want to be around white people anymore. We are tired of sharing toilets with them, and being judged for wanting to squat on the toilet in peace. It’s extremely good for your digestive system.’

Emily Thomas, fellow ethnocultural student, joined the Ethnic Students for Segregation (ESS) after an incident that occurred in line at Fisher Coffee cart.

‘I was like, how many more times do I have to stand in line for twenty minutes behind a pair of law students explaining to the barrister that they just want their coffee to be a mixture of soy, almond, rice, oat and carrot milk, and threatening to call their dad’s legal team if they don’t get what they want,” says Thomas, ‘A friend then told me about ESS, and I thought it sounded like a great plan. Carrot milk should be purged.’

ESS has outlined a Three Point Plan and distributed it to members. Honi Soit has obtained a copy, which includes the creation of safer spaces, safer bathrooms, safer libraries and eventually safer classrooms. The ultimate goal is to create separate facilities for PoC and white people.

‘We thought, why not take advantage of the fact that white liberal sympathy to racism is so trendy right now. These days, you can claim all kinds of free shit on the grounds of white people being terrible,’ says President of ESS, Raden Xue.