Comedy //

Thousands of Australians boycott the sea to protest Tim Winton

In a groundbreaking act of rebellion, thousands of Australians are avoiding visiting coastal areas as part of a nationwide protest against acclaimed Australian literary figure Tim Winton. “Today we are taking extreme measures. For the good of Australians around the country, Tim Winton must stop writing self obsessed novels about the alienating coastal lives of…

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In a groundbreaking act of rebellion, thousands of Australians are avoiding visiting coastal areas as part of a nationwide protest against acclaimed Australian literary figure Tim Winton.

“Today we are taking extreme measures. For the good of Australians around the country, Tim Winton must stop writing self obsessed novels about the alienating coastal lives of moody Western Australians.”

“I liked Tim Winton at first,” said Monique Foley, the lead organizer of the grassroots movement, in a statement to the press.

“His down-to-earth portraits of issues quintessential to Australian life really spoke to me. But then I realized his books just overuse the same ham-fisted motifs over and over again. Like, fucking hell, give me a break. Jesus.”

“I was considering focusing the boycott on Western Australia, Winton’s awful homeland, instead of the sea” Foley noted.

“But just by being normal people, almost all of us were already boycotting Western Australia.”

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