Man lies down in group photo in attempt to mask insecurity and crippling need for attention

Nate Schofield goes to surprising lengths to take the limelight.

23-year-old Nate Schofield is infamous among the Camperdown Kookaburras Division 6 men’s cricket team for always placing himself at the centre of attention.

“I don’t think we’ve ever had a photo of him where he wasn’t horizontal,” says Marcus Cameron, the team’s opening bowler. “You’d be hard-pressed to find a photo he’s posted on Facebook that wasn’t captioned ‘paint me like one of your French girls’.”

At the team’s end of season drinks in 2016, heavy rain still didn’t dissuade Nate from adopting his favourite pose. “He ruined a $1000 suit just so he would stick out in the picture.” says Marcus.

Nate is unapologetic about his attention-grabbing tendency.  “I mean who wouldn’t want me right up front and centre, hey? Definitely improves the photo, have you seen the mugs on some of these fellas.”

Nate’s latest exploit occurred during a team photo following the Kookaburras’ victory in the grand final. In an innovative new move, Nate debuted a ‘thumbs up’ gesture while also managing to place a can of beer visibly by his side.

“The planning that goes into it would surprise you.” says team captain, Miles Douglas. “Nate often makes whoever’s behind the camera take two dozen different shots while he carefully adjusts his pose.”

The rest of Nate’s team say they tolerate his self-aggrandising behaviour out of pity. “Look, he’s never had a stable relationship, he’s in a dead end retail job, he’s not that much of a looker. We’d just feel bad if we didn’t let him have these little victories,” says Miles. “It really seems to make his day.”