“2017

Turnbull’s tragic story: ‘Severe colourblindness makes me intolerant’

Turnbull revealed his personal struggle to be the stumbling block in his politics

Artist's impression of Malcolm at the press conference. Artist's impression of Malcolm at the press conference.

At a press conference given on Saturday October 1 in Canberra by Malcolm Turnbull, the prime minister revealed that his inability to take any meaningful action on the issue of marriage equality was due, in fact, to his inability to see any colours at all.

Turnbull, visibly holding back tears, announced to the media that he “[has] around the colour perception abilities of a mudcrab,” something that he has had to deal with ever since birth.

“Regrettably, this means I am unable to see the colours that make up the pride flag,” he continued. “They appear to me as varying stripes of grey.”

When asked by a reporter to confirm that he had said ‘mudcrab’, Turnbull became noticeably agitated, leaving the podium for around five seconds before abruptly coming back.

The pride flag has been used widely by LGBT+ activists for promoting and advocating for the rights and fair treatment of the LGBT community. It seems that, since the prime minister has never seen the multicoloured glory of the pride flag, he has also never been compelled to support marriage equality in a vocal or principled manner.

Turnbull’s near-complete lack of colour-sensing cone cells in his eyes also goes some way to explaining his government’s stance on other LGBT+ issues such as the Safe Schools program.

Asked whether he is able to perceive the colours on the bisexual, trans, or other LGBT+ identity flags, Turnbull replied, “No. I have the colour perception abilities of a mudcrab. All flags appear as varying shades of grey to me.”

It seems, then, that if the $122 million plebiscite is indeed attributable to Turnbull’s unwillingness to allow a conscience vote on marriage equality, it can be blamed directly on Turnbull’s colour vision impairment.

Following the conclusion of the press conference, analysts have conjectured that the extreme colourblindness Turnbull suffers from could also be behind his government’s problematic policy decisions around Indigenous Australians and asylum seekers, as colourblindness would mean he is also unable to understand race-based oppressions.