…Are you ready for it? First Year Arts Camp is coming up! A chance to make new friends, discover new passions, and run around in the bush with a condom on your head.
While you’re at it, you might find yourself unwittingly recruited to a stupol squad. Honi has heard that SASS President Lachlan Finch, one of the campus’s Libdependents is running for USU board this year, and you can bet that he will be targeting the happy, free, confused, lonely freshers out there.
And he’s not likely to be the only one. Although the pool of contenders for USU board elections is still a mystery in Week 0, Honi has heard whispers that Connor Wherrett of Unity (Labor Right) is looking to run. According to the he-said-she-said, he may have stepped down as campus Unity convenor, a sure sign bigger things are in store. Honi has also heard that Caitlin McMenamin, of Sydney Labor Students (SLS), is considering running for a second year. We hope the second degree burns from a failed attempt to stack the Gaius Gracchus executive are healing well this holidays. Catie 180, Finch the Binch, Wherrett the Ferrett, and Other the Others are all looking at the same endgame: get a big reputation, become a big conversation, get some big enemies. Here’s hoping the high is worth the pain.
The Brawl for the Stall
Every year the USU and SRC do battle for money and, more importantly, the respect of the campus’s most seasoned hacks. This year tensions began early, with President Imogen Grant (figuratively) suplexing the USU OWeek Directors Jenna Schroder and Anja Bless. In a private SRC Facebook group Grant laid the smack down: “Unfortunately this year the USU OWeek Directors are gronks and never reached out to the SRC or the various collectives to host events in OWeek”. This blow came as a surprise to students involved in the SRC, who expected that the OWeek directors would follow convention and contact the SRC about stalls in advance. The situation has been somewhat salvaged, with all SRC affiliates having to share a marquee at the three day event, though that did not stop Grant from landing her finishing move: an effort to formalise the relationship so that the USU must host SRC collective events at OWeek.
The Authorised Stupol Reports
Are you even a student politician if you’re not threatening to call daddy’s lawyers? The latest from the court of public pettiness.
Tim Bernie Gibson v People Who Think He’s Racist (2018) 1 ASR 1
Facts: An account under the name of one TBG of the Mod Libs allegedly liked a meme on Facebook that might have been a little bit racist! In return, Maddy Ward, Jess Sayed and Pranay Jha anonymously submitted a motion condemning him.
Issue: How quickly will a motion disappear from the SRC Draft Agenda when someone says they will “absolutely not hesitate to take legal action”?
Held: Very quickly. Especially when the movers already have university misconduct proceedings pending.