Comedy //

Shit! I Forgot Their Name and Also Which Version of Myself I Showed Them When We First Met

Hopefully they know my name but not who I actually am

God dammit! I’m usually so good at remembering people’s names, and also which aspects of my personality I emphasised in an attempt to connect with them.

I know we met at Mike’s 21st last year but what is her name? Like, Amy? Alison? Or Katie, maybe—and what parts of my identity did I modify to try and have an easier conversation with her? I know as a baseline I definitely played down any and all political leanings, but why do I feel like I also tried to appear more masculine? Fuck, that’s right, she asked if I played basketball because I’m so tall and I said yes like a fucking idiot. I reckon I used up all my peripheral knowledge of basketball last time as well. Maybe I’ll tell her I don’t play socially anymore or something and that’ll put a bullet in that one. What else though?

Obviously I didn’t tell her how depressed I am so I’ll lie again and say things are good. Busy, but good. People love that. There can’t be much more than that, right? I barely spoke to her. OK, I’ll just go for some traditional laissez-faire Arts student nonchalance mixed with a few palatable centrist opinions—even though I’m actually deferring uni, am very politically engaged and care so incredibly deeply about how people perceive me that I’m constantly adjusting my behaviour to appeal to relative strangers.

Perfect. Sorted. Now what the fuck is this woman’s name?

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