Opinion //

My Day On A Plate

Instant noodles over activated almonds any day

7am I swallowed a bit of toothpaste. Does this count?

8am I squeeze in two beloved sips (approximately 15ml) of a coffee and throw a muesli bar in my bag. I promise myself that I’ll eat it at some point.

9.30am I fork out $5.50 for a soy flat white

9.31am Should I have ordered a muffin?

12pm I’m in a lecture. I’ve done a risk assessment and have decided that disturbing the silence with the cracklings of my muesli bar wrapper is better than my stomach grumbling.

12.01pm I am acutely aware that I need to eat this muesli bar quickly, so that I draw minimal  attention to myself.

12.02pm but it’s excruciatingly chewy…

12.34pm My stomach grumbles anyway, frick me.

2.30pm I’ve walked past about four cafes knowing that I can’t buy anything because I’m super poor. I am hungry and poor.

4.05-4.45pm Two Monte Carlos. I start making a veggie burger, eat another Monte Carlo waiting for the patty to cook, and a dry slice of bread waiting for the patty to cook. More coffee. I assemble my veggie burger with anything pre-cut and a lot of mayonnaise, an apple, two to three spoons of Nutella and green tea (for my health, of course).

5.15pm I forgot I made the tea. It is now cold.

6.00pm I can smell dinner.

6.01pm I’m not hungry though.

6.30pm Half a plate of pasta salad.

10.30pm A green tea. I drink it this time.

10.35pm Another  Monte Carlo.

10.40pm Noodles? Noodles.

10.41pm I literally only wanted noodles because supposedly that’s a ‘uni student thing’, but I just find them intolerably salty.

1am I’m so hungry I might eat my own shins.