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Kristina Keneally to be deported under tough new Labor migration policy

The American-born Senator will be deported back to where she came from in a push to put "Australians first."

Senate Deputy Leader of the Opposition, Kristina Keneally.

Senate Deputy Opposition Leader, Kristina Keneally, will be deported back to where she came from (America), under a tough new Labor migration policy.

“After this pandemic is over, it’ll be time to put Australian jobs first,” Keneally recently announced, in a distinctive American accent. 

“It’s time for radical, progressive change,” Opposition Labor, and angry dough-faced boy, Anthony Albanese concurred. “And by that, Labor means a return to anti-immigrant policy of 50 years ago.” 

“We’re going to see an economic crisis brought on by this pandemic, and we need to prioritise Australians. The role of Senate Deputy Opposition Leader should go to someone born and bred here,” said Albanese, the son of an Italian.

Critics have argued that Keneally’s Australian citizenship should be enough to keep her in the country, but Labor’s strict migration policy would apply to anyone “with a funny accent” or who “looks like they might not be from around these parts.”

Keneally is distraught that such a harsh version of the policy she recently argued for in Fairfax media would be affecting her.

“When I said ‘Australians first’, I obviously meant people born in Australia and white immigrants.”

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