Comedy //

Secret plans reveal Thales airstrike targets on campus

Where will you be when fire and fury rain down from the heavens?

Source: Belinda Hutchinson's desk?

Leaked images have revealed plans by weapons company Thales Australia to target multiple campus locations in a coordinated aerial bombardment campaign.

Chair of Thales Australia Belinda Hutchinson, who also holds a part-time position as Chancellor of the University of Sydney, denied the documents, shown above, were genuine. “What would be the point if we weren’t also taking out those pesky NTEU offices?” she said.

When pressed on the apparent plans for a false flag attack on the F23 Administration Building, Hutchinson drew an F90 assault rifle from beneath her desk, saying: “I’m sorry sir, it’s time for you to leave.”

Thales spokesman Magnifique LaGuerre did not respond to panicked requests from Honi editors requesting immediate extraction from the strike zone, saying only that he “loved the smell of napalm in the morning.”

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