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Campus cafes raided after they refused to bake ANZAC biscuits: manhunt ongoing

Crime doesn't get a public holiday (and neither did anyone else this year)

The Australian Federal Police raided several campus cafes over the weekend, after they declined to bake ANZAC biscuits.

“We received intel that unpatriotic elements had seized control of the the University of Sydney’s campus cafes and acted swiftly to prevent further damage to national unity,” Temporary Deputy Vice Under Chief Assistant Commissioner Jeremiah Pastizi told Honi through a hedge.

A special taskforce dedicated to investigating and disrupting anti-Australian sentiment breached the kitchen of Courtyard Cafe at 05:00 on Sunday morning. A group of 25 elite AFP officers (accompanied by 4 heavy armoured vehicles and 10 mounted divison members) used thermal charges to detonate the reinforced doors.

A number of Courtyard staff fled the scene holding bags of oats and flour, as well as multiple bottles of golden syrup.

Honi spoke to a member of campus cafe staff on the condition of anonymity.

“It’s not a political thing, we just really hate making ANZAC biscuits… they’re a war time desperation bake – they aren’t supposed to taste good.”

The AFP are currently tracking the fugitive Courtyard staff through the local bushland.

“Every ANZAC biscuit that goes unbaked is a grave threat to national security.”

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