Comedy //

Students forced to picnic with proctors for midsem exams

The exam might not be open book, but the air is.

In response to the ongoing pushback against ProctorU, USyd is now offering fully vaccinated students the opportunity to take their exams in groups of four on a picnic blanket in Victoria Park.

Exams will be conducted on turkish bread and students will be required to write in balsamic vinegar. One loaf of notes is allowed per student in open book assessments.

The proctor joining them will provide soft cheeses and water crackers, while each student is assigned either hard cheeses, pastries, prepared fruit in a tupperware container, or napkins and cutlery.

For take home exams, students can make their own charcuterie spread and eat it in their garden, deck, or simply next to a window.

The University has said it will be mandatory for proctors to make small talk about “What’s been happening during lockdown?” for a maximum of 5 minutes, after which point the exam will commence and the proctor will make intense, almost unnerving, eye contact for the full duration.

Filed under: