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Engineers fight back against lesbian occupation of PNR

“If they must snort dexies off the tables to write their assessments, they should move to the Pharmacy Building.”

Engineering students across campus have formed the Engineering Action Committee (EAC) to oppose the occupation of PNR by non-Engineering students, including a substantial contingent of lesbians. 

EAC founder Mole Rot-Burwood told The Boot that “PNR has long been recognised as a safe space for Engineers who have no social skills.”

“Our members are concerned that the influx of women into the space, following Fisher Library’s changed opening hours, may disturb or possibly upset Engineering students who simply wish to study without the distraction of women.”

Another concern of the EAC’s is that non-Engineers, particularly the vegan lesbians, urinating in PNR might throw off the pH balance of the complex.

“Their continual discussion of Birdcage hook-ups and casual use of prescription medication is incredibly distracting. If they must snort dexies off the tables to write their assessments, they should move to the Pharmacy Building,” said Engineering student Wiley Braun.

“We accept that the STEM aesthetic has been appropriated in Stupol-adjacent circles, but this territorial incursion is a step too far.” 

The EAC has taken action by programming an AI bot to come up with good arguments to exclude lesbians who study Arts and is planning an upcoming Engineers General Meeting (EGM) where they will pass a motion against non-Engineers in PNR and also AUKUS.

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