187: West Coast rhinos get got in sub-Saharan gangland beef


International Union for Conservation of Nature has announced that Africa’s western, or ‘West Coast’, black rhino is officially extinct.

This comes after a bloody decade long turf war with the eastern, or ‘East Coast’, black rhino.

Rhinos from the West Coast were popular amongst tourists, but East Coast rhinos inevitably triumphed.

This exacerbated East Coast vs. West Coast turf wars over territory, or ‘projects’, and the illegal ivory trade that some profited from, but led many hornless rhinos to poverty and crime.

“Some of the most popular West Coast rhinos died due to infighting amongst their own group”, rhino magazine The Ceros claimed. “This destroyed the cohesiveness of the West Coast movement and led to the victory of the East Coast.”

Some of the biggest West Coast rhinos were killed in infighting, such as Tuhorn and The Notoriou R.H.I.N.O.

According to The Ceros, the newest feud in hip-hop is within the eastern rhino community, with NASian Rhino and Ray-Z battling it out for King of the Jungle.

A memorial is being held for the western rhinos tomorrow.

The Soin

The Soin

THE SOIN has been trading in smut, smears and substandard reporting since 2013. Read everything we publish aloud in a British accent.