Press release: save petitions

To: Twitter followers

From: GetUp!, NUS,

Subject: [Name], we need your help with this important thing

Hello [Name],

You may have heard that we are facing some difficult times. Despite numerous petitions, photo petitions, Facebook petitions, and memes for people to like and share, we have become increasingly irrelevant in Australian political discourse.

With an incoming Abbott Government, which has threatened to cut the public service, impose socially conservative laws, and expand tough law-and-order policies, it is vital that every Aussie continues to like posts and write their name and address in our petitions.

In particular, there has been a steady decline in the amount of reshares and retweets of our photo petitions – the greatest thing to happen to activism since the advent of NGO lobbyists – and this has damaged our ability to change society.

Speaking of change, has been hit especially hard by continued disinterest in petitions. This is surprising, considering the popularity of petitions such as “ Stop claiming that all change is a result of a petition on your website.”

[Name], the undersigned are in desperate need of help. Please forward this email to as many people as you can, like our Facebook page(s), and maybe do something on Foursquare and Tumblr too.

The future of Australia is in your hands.

Yours sincerely,, the National Union of Students, and GetUp!

petition photo

The Soin

The Soin

THE SOIN has been trading in smut, smears and substandard reporting since 2013. Read everything we publish aloud in a British accent.