Clive Palmer collides with iceberg, sinking

Oh no

Oh no

Eccentric billionaire Clive Palmer has collided with an iceberg and is rapidly taking in water. It is believed that due to poor visibility, Palmer failed to notice the substantial damage to his gut for several weeks. He attempted to stymie the damage with the clothes off the back of his workers, but to no avail. Palmer is expected to mark his demise by founding a new underwater city, named Atlantis, to challenge Canberra for the position of Australia’s capital.

 

The Soin

The Soin

THE SOIN has been trading in smut, smears and substandard reporting since 2013. Read everything we publish aloud in a British accent.

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