Six years of French lessons pay off as student says semi-intelligible sentence

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Teacher Jannette Waters was left in shock this week upon hearing one of her tenth grade French students utter an almost complete sentence in unbroken French. Having studied French for a mere six years, her student Rob Smith is believed to be the first ever student to have accomplished such a feat in the history of the school’s languages programme.

The sentence spoken by Rob is reported by witnesses to have been “La football est dans la chat” which roughly translates to “the football is in the cat” or “conversation”, making it an ineligible if not entirely sensible piece of French. Commenting on his prodigious mastery of the language, Rob simply shrugged and says “I guess after three years of listening to tapes of people singing about football and cats under tables, something must have sunk in.”

Linguistic scholars have suggested a child of Rob’s level may well be able to go on to study language at Brown, UTS or any number of other universities that don’t have ready access to Google Translate. Rob also has a good chance of finding his way into any British University, which share a long history of shunning the actual French from their French departments.

Asked about his future plans, Rob has suggested he may spend a gap year in France once he graduates, where he hopes to learn up to five other phrases, including “Do you speak English?” and “Which way to the Louvre?”. With his now strong language groundings in telling people he loves oranges and an intimate knowledge of every French curse word, Rob expects day to day life in native France should be a breeze.

The Soin

The Soin

THE SOIN has been trading in smut, smears and substandard reporting since 2013. Read everything we publish aloud in a British accent.

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