“Indigenous
Master Ledgend
Comedy, Features //

I want to be a Superhero

They’re the self-appointed guardians of our streets, patrolling the suburbs and fighting crime. Rob Morrison embarks on a journey to become his own real life Superhero and discovers there’s something far greater being represented here than just adults playing dress-up.

Lonely scientist Michael Anderson spoke to The Garter between bouts of sobbing
Comedy //

The Garter: Lonely scientist proves love doesn’t exist

In what is being called a ‘radical breakthrough’, neuroscientist Michael Anderson claims to have proven there is no such thing as love. “You think there is, for so long, but now I’ve realised it’s all a lie. There’s no such thing as love. It’s all just chemicals in your head and your balls, tricking you…

spain
Comedy //

The Garter: Witchcraft Levels Rising

The Holy Bureau of Statistics released their annual crime report today, showing that witchcraft has overtaken left-handedness as the most prevalent crime in Spain. The information holds disturbing repercussions for the future of Spain, the Spanish Criminal Justice system and the positive connotations of the word ‘inquisition’. According to High Inquisitor Torquemada, anyone found guilty…

The Cancer Killer's motives remain unclear.
Comedy //

The Garter: Infamous ‘Cancer Killer’ strikes again

Another innocent life was claimed last night when Petunia Meyers, 83, was killed in hospital. Police attribute the death to the now-infamous Cancer Killer, who left his signature calling card – cancer – in her body. “She was such a kind soul. We never thought this would happen to her,” said her oncologist Dr. Norton.…