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FONZEPOPE
Comedy //

Pope Francis Wears Leather Jacket

Pope Francis has wowed Catholic and non-Catholic audiences alike this week by wearing a very cool black leather jacket. The Pope revealed his cool new jacket, like that sported by popular television character The Fonz, in a post-Easter address at the Apostolic palace. “Just chill!” the pontiff declared from the famous balcony of his official…

God
Comedy //

Guest Editorial: I AM VENGEFUL AND LOVING

G’day weaklings, Literal myth and legend G-d of the Old Testament, here. Seems a lot of people seem to have a problem with my style. The fashionable thing is to wear tight pants and decry my book as past-it while some have nerve to claim that I’m not bloody relevant anymore! Fancy that! It’s not…

old people
Comedy //

REPORT: Elderly Just Old Regular People

A ground-breaking report at Stamford University has today demonstrated that the elderly are actually just older regular people. Rick Parsons, coordinator of the decades long investigation said that the results of the study were “truly incredible”. “Whereas for a long time it seemed as though the elderly were some sort of separate species, unfit for…

Jock Head Transplant copy
Comedy //

Jock Head Transplanted On Nerd Body

A surgery set to break all kinds of records in the world of brain science has gone well this week, when a jock head was transplanted to the donor body of a nerd. Corey Stephenson, a first grade NRL player for the Canterbury Bulldogs, was tragically crippled after a horse riding accident in July last…

david astle
Comedy //

David Astle Fine Stop Asking

Until-recently-missing ex-Herald cruciverbalist David Astle has again opted not to attend a press conference in person,  instead sending a media representative to reiterate that he is alive and well and everyone should stop asking bloody questions. At a similar event on Tuesday to announce his safe return, Astle’s representative stated unequivocally, “David is in the…

d20
Comedy //

Digsite find suggests Romans role-played modern, white collar workers with 9-5 jobs, mortgages

Archaeologists have found ancient artefacts at a digsite in Gibraltar which show that citizens of the Roman Empire regularly met for dice games at which they would roleplay as twenty-first century, middle class workers with tedious jobs and mortgages. Professor Archie Hats from the Oxford School of Archaeology spear-headed the latest excavations, and said that…

Land of ice and snow
Comedy //

Government Appoints New Minister for Appeasement of the Dreadful Spectres from the Land of Ice and Snow

The Federal Government has received bipartisan support for their decision to appoint Janine Frostworn to the new cabinet position of Minister for the Appeasement of the Dreadful Spectres from the Land of Snow and Ice. In her inaugural address, Frostworn avoided the pitfall less skilfully negotiated by many of her colleagues, by underpromising, and stressing…