The Occupy movement will continue to die down around the world, except perhaps, in the West Bank.
Happy ending: Craig Thomson will put the HSU saga to bed by accepting golden handjob.
The entire Essendon team will come forward and blame Shane Warne’s mum for doping.
USYD smoking areas will now also contain pokies and SportsBet monitors.
Young Libs will invite an awful speaker to speak at an awful event and will act surprised when they say something awful.
Former Katter’s Australia Party member and outspoken homophobe, Bernard Gaynor, will realise the irony of his name and promptly explode into a rainbow.
Tasmania will secede. No one will notice until 2014.
NLS will win the SRC elections for the 14th year in a row. They will then start bipartisan discussions with the PAP in Singapore.
An infectious pop song will cause a rash of deaths.
Abbott will blame the Greens and Labor split on the decline of traditional marriage. Also the carbon tax.
The Catholic Church will appoint a 12-year-old as Pope, finally solving that problem.
The Mayans forgot to carry the one. Surprise!