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Press release: USSC merges with Hell

The USSC finalises plans for merger with Hell.

satan-1

The USSC is pleased to announce that it has completed a merger with the Prince of Darkness, Satan, to synergise both organisations.

This comes after successful mergers with other pure evil institutions including Raytheon, Dow Chemical Corporation, News Corp., and the University of Sydney.

Negotiations were fruitful. Satan initially refuses an offer to sell our souls, citing the lack of souls as his reason, but eventually agreed to provide funding and researchers in exchange for Tom Switzer as Hell’s new Policy Director.

We hope this news pleases our students as much as it does us. The USSC is as much committed to the pursuit of social change as it is to the truth, and the assistance of Hell will ensure a stronger, more productive relationship between the United States and a future Liberal Government.

The United States Study Centre

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